解:$(1)$∵直线$PQ// y$轴,∴点$P $与点$Q $的横坐标相同
已知点$Q $的坐标为$(4,$$5),$则$2a - 2 = 4,$解得$a = 3$
∴点$P $的纵坐标为$a + 5 = 3 + 5 = 8,$故点$P $的坐标为$(4,$$8)$
$(2)$∵点$P $到两坐标轴的距离相等,∴$|2a - 2| = |a + 5|$
当$2a - 2 = a + 5$时,解得$a = 7$
此时点$P $的坐标为$(2×7 - 2,$$7 + 5) = (12,$$12);$
当$2a - 2 = -(a + 5)$时,即$2a - 2 = -a - 5,$解得$a = -1$
此时点$P $的坐标为$(2×(-1) - 2,$$-1 + 5) = (-4,$$4)$
综上,点$P $的坐标为$(12,$$12)$或$(-4,$$4)$