实战演练
(2025·江苏徐州期末)在七年级的学习、生活中,你肯定参加过一些户外活动,像“a school trip”或“going camping”等。你班将开展以“An amazing outdoor activity”为题的征文活动,并在班级内展示。请根据以下图示用英语写一篇短文。

【注意】1. 词数不少于 80,开头已给出,不计入总词数。
2. 内容必须包括图示中的要点,可以适当发挥,使短文完整、流畅。
3. 文中不得提及真实的人名、校名等相关信息。
An amazing outdoor activity
Time goes by quickly. In the past year, I have taken part in many amazing outdoor activities.
答案:实战演练
One possible version
An amazing outdoor activity
Time goes by quickly. In the past year, I have taken part in many amazing outdoor activities. Last summer, my classmates and I joined in an unforgettable school trip to the nearby hills.
We spent the day climbing the hill, taking in fresh air and seeing different animals. We even had a small picnic by a river, where we shared stories and laughter. When we reached the top of the hill, we were so excited to see a view of the entire valley.
This activity was amazing because it gave us a chance to take a break from noisy daily life and connect with nature. It was also a great opportunity to communicate with our classmates and create good memories.
I felt so happy and couldn't wait to attend the next outdoor activity!
解析:
【分析】
首先拿到这道写作题,第一步先明确核心要求:主题是“一次很棒的户外活动”,需要覆盖思维导图给出的全部4个要点:活动的时间地点、活动中做了什么、活动为什么很精彩、你的活动感受。你可以优先选择自己熟悉的、符合学生身份的户外活动,比如学校郊游、露营这类常见活动,避免内容太偏不好展开。接下来按照叙事的逻辑顺序安排内容:先承接题目给出的开头,直接点明要写的这次活动的具体时间和地点,完成第一个要点;接下来顺着时间线描述你在活动里的具体行为,加入小细节让内容更生动,完成第二个要点;之后结合活动的收获,比如亲近自然、和同学增进感情等角度说明活动很棒的原因,完成第三个要点;最后收尾写出自己的真实感受,完成最后一个要点。全程注意使用描述过去事件的正确时态,不要出现真实的人名校名,保证词数达标即可。
【解析】
1. 审题定位:文体为叙事类记叙文,使用第一人称叙事,主体时态为一般过去时,必须完整覆盖图示的4个写作要点,词数不少于80,不得出现真实个人相关信息。
2. 结构搭建:
① 开篇衔接给定开头,直接交代本次户外活动的时间和地点,回答第一个问题“When and where was the activity?”
② 主体第二段详细描述活动全程的具体行为,比如爬山、野餐、登顶观景等内容,回答第二个问题“What did you do in the activity?”
③ 第三段从亲近自然、放松身心、增进同学情谊的角度说明活动的意义,回答第三个问题“Why was it amazing?”
④ 结尾段抒发自己参与活动的直观感受,回答第四个问题“How did you feel?”
3. 润色优化:加入合适的连接词串联内容,让行文流畅自然,符合英语表达习惯。
【答案】
One possible version
An amazing outdoor activity
Time goes by quickly. In the past year, I have taken part in many amazing outdoor activities. Last summer, my classmates and I joined in an unforgettable school trip to the nearby hills.
We spent the day climbing the hill, taking in fresh air and seeing different animals. We even had a small picnic by a river, where we shared stories and laughter. When we reached the top of the hill, we were so excited to see a view of the entire valley.
This activity was amazing because it gave us a chance to take a break from noisy daily life and connect with nature. It was also a great opportunity to communicate with our classmates and create good memories.
I felt so happy and couldn't wait to attend the next outdoor activity!
【知识点】
英语记叙文写作
一般过去时运用
要点式作文写作
【点评】
本题是七年级阶段非常典型的要点类叙事写作题,主题贴合学生的校园生活实际,思维导图已经把所有需要覆盖的写作方向全部明确给出,大幅降低了写作门槛。学生只需要结合自身的户外活动经历,按照叙事的时间逻辑把四个要点自然串联,注意时态统一、补充合理细节,避开真实个人信息,就可以完成一篇流畅合格的短文。
【难度系数】
0.7